Skip to main content

Confessions Of A Perfectionist // Honesty Time


So I haven't really been posting much lately, and that's pretty much down to just not having the time with all my work for drama school, and also not really having the spare cash to go out and buy new make up/hair products to review very regularly #studentproblems

 However I wanted to write this post because recently I have been really struggling. I think it's fair to say I'm a perfectionist and I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve things to the best of my abilities. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, I think it's really important to push and challenge yourself and to strive to better yourself, especially with things you're passionate about. However, it does manifest itself in me getting very stressed about things when they're not going according to plan. I like to be in control of all aspects of my life (lol at me trying to make a career out of being an actor) and I find it quite hard to deal with things when they're not going well. That, added with the pressure I put on myself, tends to end up with me turning into a massive melting pot of stress.
All of this stress and pressure I've been under manifested itself this weekend - I'm currently doing a storytelling module for my degree and after seeing how far the other students in my class had come with their pieces and feeling like mine wasn't up to a high enough standard, I ended up having a little crying session in the middle of trying to work out where to go from here (I mean, I cry a lot anyway but this was an occasion where I really didn't want to). I was so stressed out I then only managed to sleep for about 3 hours on Friday night and therefore only got through 2 hours of an 8 hour shift at work because I felt so rubbish. I don't think that's ever happened to me, I think I'm a very reliable person at work so for me to actually have to leave a shift really didn't sit well with me at all, but I knew I would just feel worse if I stayed.


I really need to learn to stop being so self-critical and realise that actually, it's ok to make mistakes or have a bad day, the important thing is about how you learn from and bounce back from those occasions. 

I'm feeling a little better now, still a stress-head but I think that's just become ingrained into my personality. Talking it through with a few close friends/family has been really helpful and it just goes to show how important having someone to listen to you is. I'm also going to try and start posting on here a bit more regularly - I can't promise much, but writing is a good way for me to take my mind off things.

I think the fact that it's taken me five years to get into a drama school makes me really anxious that it could all be taken away from me in an instant, so I then feel like I have to compensate for that by always being the perfect student. I don't. I just have to be me. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Urban Decay Vice Lipstick "Morning After" Review

Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in "Morning After" *New favourite lipstick alert*  This lipstick is seriously giving me life right now! I bought it a couple of weeks ago and since then I've been constantly reaching for it. It's part of the Vice lipsticks collection from Urban Decay, which comes in 100 different shades and 6 different finishes (Comfort Matte, Cream, Metallized, Sheer, Sheer Shimmer and Mega Matte) and they're priced at £15. This one is from the Sheer range, it's a light nude shade that's more on the pink side. What I really love about is how buildable it is in terms of colour; one coat and you just get that really subtle, pink sheen to your lips or you can build it up into a super-glossy pink look! The only bad thing I can say about it is that they haven't made this shade in the matte finish because it would be so perf! (I think the closest you'll get in this finish is "Backtalk")
Post a Comment
Read more

Birchbox Goodies // April 2019

I'm writing this having just watched the latest Game of Thrones episode so bear with - I'm a bit emotionally fragile right now! (If you haven't seen it yet you are in for 90 minutes of OH MY CHRIST) A little bit late with this month's Birchbox post; I've started back at school again so it's been a little bit crazy but I figured I'd get this out while I've still got 2 days of the month left! This month's box is inspired by the healing power of crystals and enhancing your natural glow from within. Now, I don't really believe in crystal healing but I am all about that inner glow (plus they're beautiful to look at) so I was pretty excited by this box design! This month, I received a Benefit POREfessional primer, an ESTATE highlighter, an eye mask from Vitamasques, a Human+Kind moisturiser and an eye cream from Balance Me. ESTATE Cosmetics Dew Me Baked Highlighter in "Afterglow" RRP £10 Ok, so I wasn't really looking forw...
Post a Comment
Read more

Birchbox Goodies // May 2019

Does anyone else have a major urge to just spend the next few months sitting in the nearest beer garden or is that just me? Summer is well and truly making its return and for this month's Birchbox we're celebrating being able to spread our wings (although I wish those wings were taking me to a beach). In this box, I got a Lord & Berry eyeliner, a toner from Sukin, a Beautaniq mascara, a face sunscreen from Mimitika and a hair mask from Philip Kingsley. Lord & Berry Line/Shade Eye Pencil RRP £13 I'm pretty sure I've received one of these in a previous Birchbox and from what I remember, I liked this product then and I like it now! I don't really use black pencil liner unless I'm doing a dark smokey eye, in which case I'll use it to line my bottom lashline. This one is pretty pigmented and also smudges out really nicely so it ticks all the boxes for what I look for in a product like this. I do think the price tag is a little expensive though, ...
Post a Comment
Read more